


littlest, sookai

by moonchild_writes



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Cheese, Choi Soobin - Freeform, Cursed, Drunk in love, Fluff, Huening Kai - Freeform, M/M, Mention of Death, Sad, Sad Choi Soobin, Sad Huening Kai, Sad Story, Shy Choi Soobin, Soft Choi Soobin, Sookai Week, Sweetheart Huening Kai, You May Cry, but a happy one, bye, choi beomgyu - Freeform, heart breaking, huening is hurt, i forgot, i wish you loved me too, im adding this because i love taegyu and yeonbin, kaibin - Freeform, let the truth be told, little things matter, no you wont, ok im done, pretends that everything is alright when nothing is, secrets untold, sookai, sookai fanfic, the truth untold, txt fanfic, you will cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:26:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24878428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonchild_writes/pseuds/moonchild_writes
Summary: "i regret not knowing the other side of the story, the side of yours"sookai | TXT
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Huening Kai
Comments: 5
Kudos: 21





	littlest, sookai

**Author's Note:**

> "The end which seems to be an end isn't an end unless it ends" So please make sure to read till the end!! Thank you!! <3!!

"I cherish the littlest things to the fullest"

The twilight sky twinkled so beautifully yet not so beautiful as your soul, your existence. God created everything extremely exquisite but you were incomparably precious to me and deep down in my heart, though you were never mine, I was and still am so afraid to loose you. To hurt the delicate and fragile heart of yours, I am petrified and so; I decide to keep all of these emotions to myself, at least for a while until before these locked emotions begin to rot and roots to come out. My love for Soobin had always been my secret untold. Looking at you from a distance and admiring you and your lovely, spiritedly joyful heart with an eternal desire to make others smile has always been my happy place. 

Moments where I would snuggle into your hands which you would never mind, might've been the littlest things to you but those little things meant everything to me. Times when you would place your head on my shoulder for comfort, comforted me even more than the comfort that you were hoping to attain from me. I was never the one to tear up easily but the moment you start to cry, my heart grows weaker and weaker and tears just naturally flow through my eyes. But I never cared to show it to you, because I wanted you not to know that I care for you. It was a truth untold.

And once again I feared, _What if this love dies untold?_ And then I replied to my own self, _It doesn't die, it never does. Only the one who possesses it, dies. Love is eternal and the feeling of it lingers in thin air limping onto the one whom it was for._ I smiled once again at you when I reminded myself with this. Up in my head no matter how much beautifully the angels play the sound of the harps, the devil stating it's one defensive statement would always win. The devil stated asking me, _What if your one true love falls in love with someone else?_ I could just reply saying " _As long as he is happy, I am happy"_ but that would make me lying and I didn't wanted to. So after years of this, I finally decided it was time that I confess. The night right before I decided to confess, the stars seemed black and sky seemed to shine just like what was going in my head. One statement it took for the devil to take over the whole mind of mine.

 _Must I do this?_ I couldn't help but question myself again and again until I saw your shining face. I starred at you and knew that I am not and never will be happy if you aren't mine. I was greedy, but I also knew that you deserved so much and someone better than me. But the issue was that I still wanted you. _I'm just a peck of dust and why would you want that?_ I thought. I'm so mere and my existence is little. But I did what my head asked me to do. I closed my eyes and ran to you out in the rain with my hands folded in the back holding and hiding a Ruscus bouquet from you. You looked at me starring into my eyes perplexed. It was a moment I took as a present for myself as I knew that this might also be the last time for me to even just look at you. I burst into tears but at least the rain drops replaced it's place. 

Deep down knowing that this might be the last moment I refused to look at elsewhere but your eyes. Drowning in those slowly I asked myself, _Soobin, must you look at me like that? I never knew that I was this weak for you._ My eyes glistened with all the tears it held inside. I refused to move on to the moment that was awaiting for me to confess to you. "Oh Kai wait what do you have right there?" Soobin asked me quickly positioning his eyes to my hands. My heart was burning in the cold place. I suddenly wondered maybe sneaking at you from a distance and admiring you from afar and not crossing the line was where I belonged. I felt like it was only I, who was struck in a curse to feel all of these beautiful pain, or maybe I was wrong. _Should I runaway? And pretend like this never happened?_

"Huh?" I just realized that he had asked me a question that I didn't respond to yet and that I was still looking at him like an idiot. "What?" I asked Soobin back. He looked into my eyes one more time and asked me "The tears.. Are you crying?". The rain drops became a mask to me but not to him. He could look through me, I realized. It was a question I never knew I needed. For a moment it felt as if you also cared about me, Soobin hyung. I swayed my head quickly from left to right to come out off of my imagination and before I could even get a chance to speak, he took my right hand.

With my Ruscus bouquet still in my left hand hiding behind me, I looked at him and listened to every word that his lips spoke. "It's okay Kai, don't worry, you don't need to explain me anything but know that I have you" he comforted and at the moment it felt like his words were medicine. My hands trembled and the very next second when things seemed like it still could be made better, I dropped the bouquet to the ground making myself expose to what I was about to do. I reached the ground to take it. And that's when I noticed Soobin leaving my hands hanging in air to step away from me. _I knew it. He hates me. He knows that I'm gonna propose to him._ I burst into crying like a little toddler. At least I was thankful for my shoulders covering my ugly face from showing. I made it seem as if I was sneezing and wiping my face off which clearly didn't work.

"To whom is that for?" he asked. _Should I lie saying that it is for someone else?_ If I lie now, I know that it would become a regret succumbing me for the rest of my life. So I decided him to know a truth that I've been hiding for years now. "It's-- for you" I stuttered those simple words as I spoke. With lips trembling in fear, "Take it. Please" I added and requested. "Kai, I'm truly sorry but I can't" he said. My heart shattered. I felt emptier than ever. All of my efforts got washed away along with the rain that almost seemed eternal, just like my untold secret that still lived. Considering how much embarrassed and ashamed I felt of myself today, I couldn't find a single reason to live anymore whatsoever. I walked to the house all by myself, completely drenched in the rain, shivering almost to death. Though all of these happened today, I never got a chance to confess but to imply on it. It was a regret that I was left with for now. This sore day ended along with my eyes closed to sleep. 

The next day, everything was completely different. When even the world isn't still, time and things certainly weren't. In the crowded place, when everyone placed a flower at the funeral, Soobin didn't. Looking at Soobin from afar, with all the flowers he was trying to ignore, it still did seem as if he hadn't gotten over the fact that Kai loves him, because in reality he wasn't. "I'm so sorry Kai" he cried. He looked at Kai. He finally lured up the courage and walked through the crowd to get to him. He wept so loud and said, "Kai, It's all my fault, please forgive me.." and he continued "It's not like I don't want flowers from you but believe it or not I'm cursed and so, if I touch them, everything withers-- But I've realized that the only thing I've withered is you- and I'm so sorry for hurting you like that..I deserve to be punished" He was still crying to him. 

"I know.." Kai replied back to him. Soobin was bewildered. "What-?" Soobin was perhaps perplexed. "That's why I bought you a Ruscus bouquet. You cannot wither it, if it isn't a flower in the first place.." he smiled at Soobin. Soobin replied with the warmest hug he could've ever possibly pulled off. Perhaps this wasn't the kind of love that had a flavor of stardust in it but it was indeed true without any flaws. Love exists everywhere, even in the smallest and littlest things and absorbing the charming littleness in others, sometimes becomes the most exquisite because that's what we are composed of. A hole is constructed only when the littlest particles leave us. Little things complete us thereby he said;

"I cherish the littlest things to the fullest and so, i'm confident i'll cherish us" Soobin replied.

**______________________ **

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story on ao3, so don't be mad if it wasn't as good as expected :) Quick intro: the author behind all of this mastermind (lol) is Asin, that's my name btw and i'm 15 years old and that'd be it. Moving on, do leave all of your feed-backs/reviews and suggestions.. Also did I get you at the funeral part? Did you fall into the traps of this vicious writer? lmao "vicious" i'm kidding dw i'm nice ahahah well anyways thanks for reading!! Will also write some bangtan ff in a while <3<3


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